My Bluefish in the kayak story

[yaker4life]

In the other thread, someone ask about how you land a bluefish in a kayak, so that reminded of a funny story (to you guys not me) about the day I took my new wife with me out in the yak. It was 1998 and my wife wanted to go out in the yak in Townsend Inlet. So we took my OK Malibu II out and I brought my two favorite rods along. She wanted to fish too even though she never did a lot of fishing so I gave her my new Lamiglass rod and threw on a Rapala minnow that has the two sets of treble hooks. A Half hour passes and we drift towards the Avalon side. I catch a few small Blues and suddenly she hooks into something and I grab the rod and pull a 10-12 lb Blue up to the kayak. I forgot the net so I lip grip him and pull him into the kayak and put him on the deck between my legs to pull the lure out. Yes, I know never put a Blue into the yak but I wasn’t not expecting what happened next. I tried to give my wife the rod to hold but she drops into the water. So fearing I will lose my rod I reach over the side of the yak ignoring the fact this pissed off Blue is in my lap Suddenly I feel this intense pain in my groin area and look down and realize this Blue has buried his head into my crotch and it feels like he has a death grip on my balls. Now I have to decide, save the rod or unleash this angry Blue from my balls. So I cut the line. After some painful prying I see he has buried one set of the treble hook in my inner thigh and the other in my balls. And he is still flopping around. So I hold him down until he dies, then I decide I better not try to pull the hooks out of my balls. I use my knife to cut his head off and toss the rest overboard. There is not blood everywhere at this point. I am in agony. So we have to paddle back to the beach area on the Sea Isle side of Townsend, which is full of families and fisherman. I get out of the kayak holding a fish head to my crotch area, where every movement is killing me. At this point I don’t care what other think as they see me holding the fish head exiting a bloody yak. So we go to the Emergency Room at that small hospital on the Parkway. So I sit in the wating room with this fish head sitting in my lap and figure I don’t need to explain this to anyone. And you know how Blues have that ordor so everyone is really pissed at me in the Wating Room. I get to see the doctor and he give me the “ I never seen this one before.” So after the doctor removed the hooks, a few sticthes, and some swelling for a few days, everything got back to normal there. After this I only fish solo on the yak and never leave the net behind.

I guess my best advice is net a fish, never pull him into the Kayak, or better yet, just wear an athletic cup.:D

[Catch my Drift]

LMAO:eek: :eek: :p :p :p

[Frank]

Hey Yaker, You give a whole new meaning to the expression "Blue Balls".

Great story....what do you think boys?
Frank

[Duff1]

Man, that's crazy, that has to be the worst thing I every heard happen in a yak. Good thing you didn't ruin the jewels.

[REEL SCREAMER]

Same thing almost happened to me..4-5 pound blue off yak with small clark spoon in its mouth then all of a sudden the hook falls off the spoon and the fish is down in my lap swimming around under my thighs..good thing i held the fish down.. i cant image a slammer blue though:eek:

[barrell]

Im speechless...and thats rare!!!!

[zar2754]

it pained me physically to read that.

[bunkerfinger]

i would have paid $50 to see that:D

[gone_fishing]

OMG, that is THE FUNNIEST fishing story I have EVER read!!!!

pics?

[hodgepodge]

Definately would have won the grand prize on Americas Funniest Home Videos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)

[eelball]

:D a classic

[phillyfishing]

dude i can't stop laughing....

[akozols]

I was amused and queezey at the same time.

[R & R]

Oh my Lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DJ COAST]

That is an insanely great story, LMFAO.:D....

[StevenKoz]

Thats the funniest fishing story of all time, man a video of that would have made you rich!:D

[Ardmore Bill]

Insanely funny!!!! I don't know what to say first, 'don't loose your head' or 'don't loose your balls!!!'

[Steve Wdz]

LMAO, a video would been great $10,000 AFV, you should try it again and have someone shoot it.:eek:

[Skmag357]

ouch.....my balls hurt just reading that....glad you are ok though

[yaker4life]

I am glad you guys enjoyed that. I am glad nobody had a camera around that day. In July I will be down that way and and can reshoot a video for that but there is one catch - one of you guys can volunteer to be stunt double. And I lied, it was 6/0 treble hooks. Any voluteers:D

[Reel Nice]

Wow!! I'm glad your nads are ok..

[GringoDan]

LMFAO!!!! I laughed out loud in my office about this one. It gave me the winces. I'm sure every dude reading this got them as well.:D :D :eek: :eek:

[kenuloza]

By far the funniest story ever. Thanks for the advice

[whopper jr]

I just read your story to the wife, she had to run to the pottey before it was to late. lol..man thats gotta hurt!!!!

[mark-fishes]

Hysterical.

One of the finest stories I have ever heard... and I was an English major.

You need to sell that story to a sitcom writer and let them develop an episode out of it.

[hogwild]

That's got to be the funniest story I ever read:eek: :D

[steve93]

TOO FUNNY! I hope she bought you a new fishing pole, and pampered the other back to health!:D I'm not sure I want to fish from a yak any more.

[Brian E. Mullaney]

OUCH :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

Note to self - boga tthem and keep them arms length away over water

[zar2754]

a blue fish bit my toe yesterday...but i dont use my toes to...... well you get the point.

[VOLKANMAN]

priceless.......:D

[rob]

This is the most hilarious fishing story I've read :D :D :D!!!

ROTFLOL!!!

a tandem yak for fishing with the wife: $900

a lami rod and reel: $300

a blue and lure latched onto your jewels: priceless

:D

[Seaclusion]

OMG I was laughing o hard, telling my wife at the same time and she was even laughing.

[Spooled]

Thanks for sharing

[Lightwave]

Very funny story, gives a whole new meaning to "fishing with the boys"

A personal adventure of testicular proportion (NY Times)

A gonad Gripping read (Daily News)

A perfect sequal for "Hardy Boys" fans (NY Post)

[HookinUp]

that aint even funny, unless your into the goth pain thing, and unusual piercings and jewelry:D :D

[Sea Isle Al]

When I stop laughing I'll be able to finish my beer.:p :p :p

[Fly Ty R]

I guess that's the free way to get a vasectomy.... :D

[Lightwave]

Yaker- did you check his stomach to see what elese he was feeding on?

[THe Dude]

Maybe they can re-enact that scene for the next jackass movie. Very funny!