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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I went on the "Sea Fox" out of Atlantic Highlands last night... very slow night. Not a single bass caught on the entire boat and that was not due to the lack of a decent effort by the captain and crew. It was simply a slow night. Beautiful sunset!

That was up to the point when the silence of fishless boredom was pierced by a lone voice that shouted "Man Overboard!" I heard it moments after I could have sworn that I saw a pair of legs go flying over the rail in the stern! The drunk actually flipped over the rail while attempting to execute an underhand flip cast for his brother (the other drunk!). The problem was that the only thing that he was even remotely capable of executing with any degree of skill and proficiency, at that monent, (and perhaps in his life, from the looks of him)was HIMSELF!

Immediately, several members of the Livingston Volunteer Fire Company (or it might have been East Hanover)rushed to his aid. Remarkably, they had to restrain the guy's brother-in-law (the other "other drunk") from jumping in to attempt his own, what would have been an ill-fated rescue! All along, the first "other drunk" kept repeating the phrase: "That's my brother, Man" Upon his rescue, the sloppy, brotherly love was endearing as the first "other drunk" kept saying "You're my brother, Man" to the primary idiot, who could only sit and shiver.

The Captain, crew and firemen did a great job! The Stupid One owes his life to them! (And they violated Darwin's law by doing so! I'd watch out, if I were them, because they may have even interfered with the will and desire of a higher power, otherwise known as THE CAPTAIN! God will probably re-tell this story for centuries... "Who knew that there were volunteer firemen on board?" "I know, I know... I should have know better... But that stupid drunk was really ticking me off... and besides, people were bored!" "What pests! Always wanting to volunteer!")

I will also point out that the boat has a four beer per man limit, which the mate enforced by searching coolers upon boarding. However, judging by the behavior of several of the finer patrons (and the volume of "empties" in the recycling can at the end of the night)it seemed to be a "rule" in namesake only! A "rule" which was apparently born out of a prior truly ill-fated fishing trip, which became an unplanned dive adventure for one soul. Whoever said that "God watches over babies and drunks" must have been thinking about the babies who have gone out fishing!

There was also the angry and aggressive drunk, who expressed his unhappiness with the slow night of fishing by cursing-out the old, sad- looking and small mate. (The bigger mate would have made him "unhappy.") The "angry Drunk" then proceeded to throw hand fulls of clams overboard. When some glops of clam hit some kid in the back, his father went after the drunk! (Perhaps, when God decided to mess with the drunk, his aim was a little off?)

All-in-all... I should have stayed home! (And now I remember why I stay away from "Night Party Boat" trips and why I will never break the other Darwinian Rule: "Don't Fish on Weekends!")

The last irony of the night was when all of the drunks got into their cars and drove off as the well-intentioned police surveilled the parking lot! And the real irony would have been if the drunks had run into the firemen... it would have been God's will!
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Good night! I hope they wake with nasty hang-overs! Fools! And may they suffer the life-long curse of never catching another fish, while being tortured by the endless tapping of bergals as salt water burns into deep cuts on their fingers caused by braid... :eek: :D
 

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The sad part "The Brothers Drunk." will probably tell this story with a lot of humor over and over, never realizing the real danger that could have put others at risk.

[ 06-12-2004, 07:35 AM: Message edited by: capthersch ]
 

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Great story. Ya' gotta' love headboat fishin' on a weekend evening.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
...and may they also be cursed with daily thoughts of having lost a 26 1/2lb Tog at the surface simply because they were too ignorant and drunk to listen to the mate... and may the next time they go to pay their fare (and every third time after that) may their wallet and watch fly from their hands directly into the drink, so as to constantly lure them each closer to the edge and may there be NO VOLUNTEERS on every third trip...
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
... and may they each acquire a raging case of poison ivy on their hands and then only realize (through the drunken haze) the consequences of their actions AFTER they have urinated...
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
... and may a paux befall each of them and their first born males (No! May it befall all who carry their name!), so that the waters upon which they cast their lines are eternally barron for about six inches to a foot surrounding their bait!
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
... and lastly, may their once loyal dogs treat them with distain which equals or surpases that of their ex-wives and mother-in-laws!

There! Now I am finshed... and I feel much better.
 

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Ouch Thanks for the story, glad it ended okay & thanks for sharing. Ron
 

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Been there seen that!I've had them jump over on purpose because they were hot :rolleyes: this was at 2:00 am 30 miles out in september!
On one occasion I actually had to anesthetize a drunk with a pair of 8 oz sinkers attached with a short piece of bouy line!
But nothing says brotherly love like the two that went after each other with MY filet knife!
Does that make me an accessory???
Hey but they'er on vacation so its OK for them to act like jerks-typical tourist mentality!
 

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Was on a nite blues trip a few years back on the Twilight. Group of guys in their late 20s partying up pretty good but having a good time. One drunk guy starts some crap with the mate & the mate took it for some time, which I give him credit for, but as the guy got drunker, the profanities and personal attacks became worse.

The mate was a young kid & working hard and this guy was just constantly on his back. The mate goes up to the captain. 5 minutes later the capt comes down, grabs the guy by the back of the collar, pulls him over to a hatch to the lazarrette, opens it up and tells him there are 4 hours left in the trip & one more word out of him & he spends the rest of the trip in there, in the dark & between 2 pounding diesels.

The guy looks terrified, goes over to the bench, sits down and didn't move the rest of the nite. Made for a good trip after that. Nothing funnier than the look of fear on a drunks face.
 

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You know, I have never been a fan of alcohol on a boat. I was talking to my friend and The Lunchman on the boat yesterday about this very subject. I am ready to have a no drinking policy when I start my charter business. The 2 of them said that people like to go out and have a few drinks and have a "good time" while fishing and that my boat will be empty if is devoid of alcohol. I am just not ready to baby-sit a drunk or 2 or even someone who does not get really drunk, but has impaired balance because he OR SHE is getting tipsy.

What do all of you think? If drinking REALLY necessary? Do people actually need alcohol to have fun? Will a policy like that keep my boat empty.....Or will my failure to catch fish already do that? :D I am not a drinker really, I like a good beer here and there but just can't relate to the absolute need to have alcohol on hand to enjoy myself.

Am I off base with this one?
 

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I have a beer on the way back in to the dock and only after i'm out of the bay, its about a 20 minute ride from the last channel marker to the marina , so thats when I usually throw back one or two. While out fishing the others on the boat can have a few beers if they like, nobody ever gets out of control. Again when we get back and the fish are cleaned and the boats washed, its a another story.

Scarface
 

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Jim, Unfortunatly most people who charter boats feel fishing has to have beer in the mix or it isnt a fishing trip. I think you will definitly lose business with that policy. I would make a policy on limits....maybe 3 or 4 beers per man. No hard stuff.
 

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That was a very well written story! I really enjoyed it. Ashame someone could have drown :rolleyes:

Jim, I think some will nto charter you unless they can drink but remember the old addage there are enough people out there who will do business your way that you don't have to deal with those who won't. It's just a matter of finding those people.

I think you'd better put the beer issue aside though and learn how to catch some fish LOL.
 

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I my experience most guys who charter are out for "a good time". Catching fish is always good but the beer is better. There is nothing as funny as a guy who drinks so much he pisses his paints. So the guys who drink on the charter boats amuse me. Unless they get ignorant. Then it is a different story. I am a beer drinker but I know my limit. So when I am on a trip and someone is getting out of controle I defuse the situation if I can. Speaking to a drunk on their level helps tremendously(see; like a child) is the best bet. Drunks can be a pain but their money is as green as anyones. It's all about paying the bills. My suggestion is to hire a mate that can handle the most agressive drunk and good luck..
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
I was on a charter where one off-duty officer threw a beer bottle into the water and I told him that he could toss his empties into the bucket. His buddy proceeded to draw his Walter PTK (Did I get the name correct?) and fire rounds at it. He then took out a dollar bill and bet the first guy that he couldn't hit it. At that point, I decided to go up front and check the hook.

Or... two drunks on the Deep Adventure out of Pt. Pleasant one night. They started throwing 10 lb bluefish at each other. One smashed the cabin window and the other picked up a serated bait knife with his slimy hands and proceeded to stab a fish flopping on the deck. Apparantly, he either stabbed through the fish or missed completely and hit the deck. Remember now, the key to the story is that his hands were slimy! Down past the hilt his fingers ran... four of them barely hanging on!

Some other drunk tried to climb up a wheel house ladder (after being told not to) in order to get a closer picture of the moon... broken arm and then some.

Or... bass fishing at Colliers Mills in a john boat with my friend and 2 of his friends who were drinking and I was not. One cast ripped my hat off with a crank bait. Laughs, all around. Ten minutes later the same fool sticks the bait through the other guy's earlobe on the back cast! We left the lake and went to a bar on Rt 537 (?) where he drank some more with the plug hanging there. The manager finally told him to go to the hospital. They went to the parking lot and cut the hook and returned.

Same guy recently invited me on his new Nitro... I was busy.
 
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