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Blatantly Stolen.......

The Atlantic States Marine Crab Council (ASMCC) announced in a startling move today that effective April 1, the taking of sandfleas from the midatlantic beaches will be prohibited. It has been determined that a particularly invasive bird species called the “sanderling” has been attacking the sandfleas without provocation, resulting in the sandflea being placed on the threatened list.


SANDERLING ATTACKING SANDFLEA

The revelation was first made last autumn during a beach picnic outing by some members of the Appalachian Club and Greenslice when tiny screams could be heard as the sandfleas were being slaughtered by mad throngs of evil sanderlings. Appalachian Club naturalist Greer Preview sprung into action and authorized $2.5 million in lobbying effort and legal stopgap measures to save these poor creatures. “We love these little cuddly things – they really tickle when they get in our speedos. They’re not hurting anyone, and they deserve to be on the beach as much as the evil sanderlings.”


MR. GREER PREVIEW

Also cited by Mr. Preview as a “clear and present danger to these poor sandfleas” is the new generation of children, deemed as the “Generation Zeros”. According to Mr. Preview, this new generation of kids has no regard for animal life, and care more about themselves than crustaceans. They senselessly dig up the sandfleas, ripping them from their families, then place them into confined cells, called buckets, and then torture them with water boarding before ripping their little legs off.


GENERATION ZERO CHILD KILLING SANDFLEAS

The House Subcommittee on Stupid Animal Misappropriations, or SAM, penned a late night bill to
1) immediately ban all human activity below the dune lines
2) construct elevated platforms no closer than 500 yards from the high tide line where humans can look at the beach through telescopes at a cost of $1.00 per minute
3) establish a National Guard buffer zone to destroy all sanderlings encroaching the one mile “no fly zone” by authorizing the use of Spud fart-seeking missiles


SPUD MISSLE TAKING OUT FLOCK OF SANDERLINGS

As a final measure, natural predators like the voracious tautog will be targeted for culling. All size and creel limits will be eliminated, and local agencies will be providing white buckets and mesh laundry bags to assist in the harvest.

More to come…
 

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It's about time! I hate those little bastages. They are always trying to tickle my feet when I'm walking on the beach.:rolleyes::D
 

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Somethings wrong with this picture, in ocean city maryland they sell the sand fleas for striper & tautog bait. If they can sell them down there then why are they banned in new jersey, oh yeah I forgot this is new jersey.
 

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Someone has way to much free time on their hands.
 

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makowish said:
Somethings wrong with this picture, in ocean city maryland they sell the sand fleas for striper & tautog bait. If they can sell them down there then why are they banned in new jersey, oh yeah I forgot this is new jersey.
Don't believe everything you read.
 

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makowish said:
Somethings wrong with this picture, in ocean city maryland they sell the sand fleas for striper & tautog bait. If they can sell them down there then why are they banned in new jersey, oh yeah I forgot this is new jersey.
Where in that article did you read it pertains to NJ only? It states MidAtlantic beaches. Is MD in that category?
 

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makowish said:
Somethings wrong with this picture, in ocean city maryland they sell the sand fleas for striper & tautog bait. If they can sell them down there then why are they banned in new jersey, oh yeah I forgot this is new jersey.

This is a joke...... Sarcasm....
 

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Does this mean I can take my dog on the beach now?
:D
 

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That's one of the best posts in a long time. But it is way to close to real. So sad.

I use them as bait all the time. How about you?
 
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